The little horse

In the fine and green village of Gwee
Lived the worlds smallest ever pony
His high-pitched wee 'Neigh!'
Could be heard every day
As he galloped along by the sea

The children would all come to stare
They would ride him and pull on his hair
Thought he, "They're too fat!
And that tall one's a brat!
I think this is very unfair!"

One day he developed a cough
And his little "neigh!" came out as "nough!"
He lay down on the sand
The kids pushed him to stand
Though the look in his eyes said "Feck off!"

So he back-kicked a brat in the head
It was alright, the kid wasn't dead
Still, the vet put him down
and he thought with frown
"It's my victim mentality that got the better of me."

Limerick

There once was a man from Glasgow
Who declared himself fed up with snow
He longed for the Spring
But the Earth couldn't swing
Fast enough for the tulips to grow

Limerick

The once was a girl from Peru
Who cherished a love for the Shoe
Said she "I have many,
But I don't buy just any,
Only Choos or Manolos will do!"

Limerick

There was an old farmer from Cork
Who, though fond of a bit of roast pork,
Told his old friend the sow
That he couldn't think how
He could serve up her son on a fork!

Limerick

There once was a lassie called Jan
Who loved cooking cakes for her man
"The way to his heart
Is a hot custart tart,
an eclair or a summer fruit flan!"

Do you have time?

Not enough hours in the day?
Well, you can't have any more.
Not on this planet anyway.

Try Venus, the goddess of love (see a couple of photos of the ol' broad left). Our voluptuous glistening neighbour has a whopping 5,830 hours in a day. That's 243 earth days long. Long enough for you?


Oddly enough, the days on Venus last longer that the years. Confusing. And how expensive! Every day would be everyone's birthday. A "very merry un-birthday" would certainly be something to celebrate! Of course, the date would be easy to remember, always 1/1.

Unfortunately Venus has a bit of a global warming problem. Her runaway greenhouse effect results in temperatures of around 480° C /900° F.


Clearly she used of copious amounts of hairspray and other such CFC filled goods back in the cooler days. Still, the girl has great hair. What a babe!




If you can't stand the heat, there are 6 other planets to choose from (poor Pluto got kicked out). But before exploring them it might be worth making an observation inspired by Carl Sagan and War of the Worlds in equal measures:

If you didn't evolve on a planet, it is very uncomfortable to live there.

So lets go home. What are the most important things in your life and do you have time for them? Do you even have time ponder that question?

Let's put it another way.

What do you want to achieve in your life?
Stop reading and make a list now, as long or short as you like.
It's not a dress rehersal.
You are not practising.
This is it. This is your life.
Decide now.

OK. You know what you want. This is the biggest hurdle over. Now how do you find the time? Anyone in "management" knows the following lesson already but forget about the "business" perspective and focus on you.

This is your bucket. You are a little boy on the beach. Your bucket is your day. What will you fill it with?

First, fill your bucket with rocks. Rocks are the things that bring you closer to achieving that list. If you want to be a ballroom dancer, booking the dance lesson is a rock. Every bucket must have rocks, as many as you can get in.

Second you fill the space between the rocks with pebbles. Pebbles are the other important things in your day, the things you have to do but that aren't directly related to achieving your list. If you want to be a ballroom dancer but can't dance like Fred Astaire yet, you need to earn enough to support yourself and pay for your lessons. If you are starving, finding the means to get regular food is a rock, finding today's food is a pebble. There must always be time for pebbles between the rocks otherwise you won't survive.

Finally when you can get no more pebbles in, you shovel in sand. Sand is the stuff you fill your day with that stops you from doing the scary things, the big things, the things that are really important to you. Sand is the shelter of the procrastinators. Sand is daytime TV and celebrity magazines (unless you work night shifts at the job of your dreams or have a burning desire to be a paparazzi and need to do some research!). Sand is the thing that fills the stressed man's bucket. Always overfilling his bucket but always unfulfilled.

Every day, when you're working away at something ask yourself whether its a rock, a pebble or just sand. What are you putting in your bucket?

Every once in a while, make another list and make sure you're still after what you originally wanted. Maybe you'll discover you have two left feet but an incredible knack for advanced mathematics. People change, including you, your path needs to change with you.

Is this easy? No, but persevere, it will get easier with practice.

And don't worry, it could be worse: on Jupiter, there are only 10 hours in a day.

Limerick

There was a cute cat from Japan
Who loved to eat sushi with jam
His owners said "Odd!
Eating berries with cod!
He won't eat cat food from a can!"